I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
