Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
