I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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