Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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