Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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