Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
