69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize