Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
