Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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