after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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