I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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