The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Alive.
So much puke
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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