I puked a lego.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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