pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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