Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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