Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
