there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
