I wish I could punch you in the face.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
