Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
