i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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