My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
