I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
