in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
