You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
