Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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