You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
