So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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