my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
