She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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