I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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