wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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