I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
