i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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