i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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