I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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