my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize