Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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