I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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