he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize