I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
