it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
