There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
