Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
