I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Randomize