I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
tell me about the eggs
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
