why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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