i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
