She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
