Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
