You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
my liver is dry heaving
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize