genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They have beer where we have blood.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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