In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
