Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
