Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
