Buhtt sex?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
