I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
