Betty ford says i'm here all night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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