we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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