I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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