You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
