return my video game
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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